Competitive Guru Gifts

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The MBA Draft

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Career opportunities

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Uh-Oh..."

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

Target your customer.

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

Early Business Planning

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"I think you might need to start again."