Corporate Guru Gifts

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"We have finally achieved simplicity in our corporate organization."

'I was headhunted.'

Chairman of a variety of companies

"I'm making this decision on principle, just to see how it feels."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'The management retreat was a mistake. None of our staff want to come back.'

"A big decision has to be made. Assemble all my 'yes' men."

'You're not always right you know.'

End of the Rainbow.

'I hear the old man's retiring next month, and that he'll be hand-picking his successor THIS week!'

'The problem that went away all by itself came back all on its own.'

Amalgam incorporated.

'We need to drive operating performances, slash budgets, consolidate holdings and smile.'

Now before I give you my report, I want you all to remember the word 'cycle'.

'There's more to managing than just axing people!'

'...and I say without fear of contradiction...'

"It seems to me it's a little unethical to recommend only ethical companies."

Starting at the Bottom.

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Robot Parts $5

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

The MBA Draft

Sir Winston Churchill

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'