Global Guru Gifts

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

'Of course we're a global corporation. We have mail drops throughout the world.'

"That's obvious by looking at the map."

'And the melting ice caps will cause green taxes to rise up and swamp us all...'

'Today could well be the day...the day on which the world leaders turn to me to solve their problems...they might just leave it till tomorrow.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"#Win!"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

Coronavirus Waves

Coronavirus Sisyphys

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'Not that slowly back...'

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

The Canary in the Coal Mine

Wembley Concert - Stop Global Warming

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

Global warming causes widespread flooding, but fortunately scientists were able to locate the giant plug on the ocean floor.