Competitive Greeter Gifts

"I guess the fist bump as a greeting isn't quite confrontational enough these days."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

Skateboard Olympics.

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

Basketball Players Working Together

A Man mixing up his sports.

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

"I'm a Dinosaur, Hargraves, and I'm no herbivore."

Recession/Recovery

'Bank A' about to jump into to pool of competition followed by banks B and C

"Out? What are you, blind?"

"Tag, you're it!"

Space Hopper Rodeo

'It breaks a father's heart when his son is less successful than him. Heh, heh.'

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."