Speedy Greeter Gifts

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Running Latte

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Please Leave by 9

City Travel...rat race special! 10 countries in 10 day: 'I need a vacation'!

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

Recession/Recovery

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

"Yes, you work quickly, but kids expect a bit more detail."

No, I can get slow, sick and weak at home

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

Yo yo.

"Good morning."

Greetings cards

I've scheduled a cat scan, but if you're in a hurry, you can try our new U-SCAN.

Knowing the dangers of being a Church Greeter during cold and flu season, Harold stocks up on hand sanitizer.

Stop it! Slow down!

"Hurry up, MacDonalds can make a shake in 5 seconds"

'At that speed, you should put racing stripes on your glass.'

Property Taxes.

'Where is my regular man?'

"I guess the fist bump as a greeting isn't quite confrontational enough these days."

"Mornin'."

Two men lifting their hats to each other, one has an Accordion under his hat

"We'd prefer that you wait until people ask before directing them to the weight-loss aisle."

"Take your lunch hour, now, Julie...see you in ten minutes."

"I drank 20 cups of coffee yesterday and gave a 500 word sales pitch in 30 seconds, but not in any known language."

Not so fast! -- I'm more than just a greeter!