Speedy Service Seeker Gifts

I've scheduled a cat scan, but if you're in a hurry, you can try our new U-SCAN.

Ancient Racing

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Bob's Driving School.

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

A caterpillar is rowing itself along

Computer Controlled Car

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

Irregulars

Cow outboard engine

Fast Food Restaurant

Church: Open Sundays

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

City Travel...rat race special! 10 countries in 10 day: 'I need a vacation'!

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

Pamplona 500

"So the question you need to ask yourself is - 'Just how much of a mid-life crisis can I afford?'"

Slipstream

"My boss wanted someone with drive so I hired a NASCAR racer."

"Unfortunately, extinction was inevitable for the Have-a-need-for-speed-asaurus."

"What an amazing view!"

Pedalo Racer

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"