Competitive Critter Gifts

'Tortoise beats Hare...subject to performance enhancing drug test results.'

The Victors

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Agility God

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Football player taking the ball home.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Supermarket Merge

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.

Looks like Charlie owns Park Place now. Dogopoly.

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"You're a really sore loser, you know that!"

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Loser's Podium.

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

'Big advantage!!'

I won! I finished my pizza first! Want to make it two out of three?

"They've been playing Big Brother again"

"When I said, 'Give him a chance-best two out of three,' I was talking to the dog."

All you can eat buffet...speed limit: 750 calories per minute

A Man mixing up his sports.

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'I've got a good idea to improve the team.'

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

Rock, paper, scissors

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!