Company Seeker Gifts

"I don't need any money. I just came in for some fellowship."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

How are you at decision making?

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I don't like your application."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

In and Out Sourced.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Between Offices

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'