Office Seeker Gifts

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

Furniture Factory. Chairs Div. I enjoy making chairs, but I'd like to get a desk job eventually.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

In and Out Sourced.

Opening the door to new customers

"I don't like your application."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

Between Offices

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."