Job Opportunity Seeker Gifts

"Gurkenman, inland revenue. We're always looking for talented guys like you! Do you want a job?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

In and Out Sourced.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

Opening the door to new customers

Between Offices

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."