Company Seeker Pillows

"I don't need any money. I just came in for some fellowship."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

In and Out Sourced.

"I don't like your application."

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."