Corporate Hunter Gifts

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

Work Slave

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'Way too much information on your resume.'

Are you able to concentrate on your work? My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'Welcome to Change Management 101. We'll start with some free falls.'

'Still doing the work of three people, huh?'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

'I hate it when EVERYONE is a whistle blower.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Gentlemen and Ladies, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts...'

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"Impressive resume. You really know your s**t."

"We do have an opening for a whistleblower, but it's only a temporary position."

'I don't get it, the company's made money, but I don't see any.'

CIA, 'Chief, I've got a lead on Victoria's Secret!'

"We were shopping nearby, so I brought Andrew over to see you in action."

Day One of training for the typical new worker.

Top Secret

"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."

Business Intelligence Unit.

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

Obama and the Dragon

"Okay, let's hear some weaknesses."

Undercover Santa

'I take it, you're just starting out.'

'After reviewing your job performance...'