Corporate Job Seekers Gifts

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

Overworked in the office

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Good Luck!

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Parade of Businessmen

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"