Corporate Career Gifts

Bear Office Worker

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's our mission statement.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."