Entering The Corporate World Gifts

'The company's expecting great things from you, young man.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Killer Executive Suits.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Spot the difference.

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Storm in the out tray

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Welcome to the Team