Corporate Life Gifts

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

'...any other business?'

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'You are here.'

'And this is the only performance indicator that's moving up. Unfortunately, it's my blood pressure.'

'Last week many of us had a tight schedule so our meeting was rushed and very short. Miss Jones, please read us the seconds of our last meeting.'

"Well, get some new numbers or I'm getting a new numbers guy."

'Boswell, it's been brought to my attention that your hidden agenda is in direct conflict with my hidden agenda.'

'I hear your distribution network is second to none.'

"First of all, this meeting never happened."

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

When giving feedback, there will always be something for you to comment upon.

"Did you think the ladder of success would be straight up?"

"Change in plans - the deadline's been moved up to four days ago."

"I see meetings. Lots of meetings."

"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."

'A glass ceiling?...Don't be ridiculous. The sign works just fine.'

Well done, Jim. If only I could sleep at home like I do through your presentations!'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'Poor soul. Beaten down by peer reviews.'

'Hi, you must be the new guy.'

'We're sending you on special assignment to analyze our shipping problems.'

'Your thankless, hard work and commitment have been crucial to my career development. Isn't that the best possible reward for you?'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Rita, I've seen several people smiling today. Find out what that's all about.'

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

He replied all.

"What choice do we have? I can't fire him. He knows too much."

'Never mind the dramatics, Watkins. Just read the treasurer's report.'