Corporate Life Commentator Gifts

'It's probably not a good sign to be listed in the organization chart underneath the office plants.'

"Ah - there you are, Grimes. How goes the customer satisfaction survey?"

Sorry, answers are on another number...

"Anne, you get a promotion. Jim, you get a raise. And Bob, to be politically correct, you get a participation trophy."

"I'm not trying to micro-manage – I'm just plain old snooping."

"When sales pick up I'll take you out of storage."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'Who's the new bloke?'

"Mr. Rod gave me my employee review. He said I totally 'meet expectations'."

"The boss spent the day bouncing ideas off me!"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Storm in the out tray

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Working hours.

'Salaries Manager. No.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."