Company Life Gifts

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

In basket-case.

'That's our mission statement.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'