Work Life Gifts

'I'm going to be sick on Monday. I'm telling you now so I don't have to call in.'

Pizza time.

"Oh, how I ...give me a push... hate Mondays."

"That's Suzy, my personal assistant: I was getting way too busy..."

"He's just now passing beneath the triumphal arch."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"I'm sorry Perkins, but dying at your desk is a strict breach of company policy!"

"I'm sure there's something I've forgotten!"

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

"I got this job because I work well without supervision."

"Watson is clear-headed, enthusiastic, brimming with energy...it must be 5 o'clock."

"Want me to skip all the boring details?"

'Take two of these 1 hour before your required to laugh at the boss's jokes.'

My boss is a real turd.

"Yeah, you'd think 'what a great job' but with his coffee consumption and the dodogy fax you need to be an angel!"

'How could you have worked in your previous job for 35 years? You're only 32 years old. I did a lot of overtime.'

Happy mandatory retirement age to you...

'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

"Why shouldn't I get my hair cut during office hours? It grows during office hours..."

'We're not going to fire you, Haffner, and we're not going to let you resign. We're going to let you twist in the wind.'

"Well, Mr. Dog Eat Dog, did you eat a dog today or did a dog eat you?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'