Working Life Gifts

"With the bump in salary comes a lot more responsibility and my choice of three new stress related illnesses."

"Even our job has its own small mercies."

"I really didn't enjoy working five days a week, fifty weeks a year for forty years, but I needed the money."

"Don't flash the wrong gang sign or they won't hold the elevator."

"I'm working my way through obedience school."

'Money doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

"Yes, gossip is prevalent. You have to remember that a dairy herd is more like a group of co-workers than a family..."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"My email is down... talk to me."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'That's our mission statement.'

In basket-case.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."