Professional Life Gifts

Work/Life Balance.

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

"I told you I wasn't a hunter-gatherer, I'm an accountant."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

'I remember when it used to say THINK.'

'I checked around and you're the only mommy that requires an appointment.'

'We've decided to call off our go-slow' 'What go-slow?'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I'll teach them to kick me upstairs!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'That's our mission statement.'

In basket-case.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'