Company Performance Gifts

Office meeting

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Just be yourself."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'They all want to play the star.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Snowprov

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"Who called this meeting again?"

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Primitive magician

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'He's maturing early.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."