Performance Analysis Gifts

"Remember that crazy optimistic forecast we had?!?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Reading my Critics

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Snowprov

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"I, TikTok."

Primitive magician

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'He's maturing early.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Office meeting

Six Thinking Hats

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Orchestra conductor