Performance Appraisal Gifts

'You win some, you lose some. Don't worry about it. No one's keeping score.'

"Hope you don't mind - I've brought in a body-language interpreter."

"What makes you think I've been napping at work?"

Peacock of Productivity

"I need you to step up to the Mark."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Snowprov

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'He's maturing early.'

"I, TikTok."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Primitive magician

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

Orchestra conductor

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?