Company Dynamics Gifts

Innovation department.

'Well, at least we're ahead of our competitors in the number of CFOs we've had in the past year.'

'This new position in our company will move me further from ampersand.'

Employer wanting information about employees

'We believe in having a very specialised team. Watkins here for example provides all our human error.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Others will fight for you

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Salaries Manager. No.'