Corporate Dynamics Gifts

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

Board room meeting, "That was a brilliant idea Smithers-thank you for having it for me"

'I see you've heard how we treat 'outsiders'.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

"And remember Miss Wilson, if you have any sexual harassment from anybody below director level, let me know."

'Remember to stay downwind from him, he can smell fear.'

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

'You know, if it weren't for the personnel problems, Human Resources would be a great place to work.'

'Farington, our parent company is coming to visit us, so clean up your room.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

"Well if that isn't harassment, bullying and intimidation, what is?"

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Good, he's here - hold all my calls.'

'Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some are allowed to work for great men like me.'

"We sent you to infiltrate the employees as undercover boss. We didn't think you'd convert to unionism!"

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

Stan couldn't be bothered to stand up – yet hated being talked down to.

'You'll be very happy here...I know I am!'

'We've enjoyed your incandescent personality, but we're replacing you with Amanda who has a more efficient fluorescent personality.'

'Here's a job for you, oil rig engineer. You start at the top and work yourself down.'

"That's Gerald, he was your predecessor as head of strategic planning."

A man is staring at a sign that says, 'Stair.'

"You haven't been promoted because my son has the job above you."

"You're the accountant. Find enough money in the budget so I can hire a sidekick."

'Well, Fenwick, what do you think being assigned a legless chair means?'

"I'm tired of being the only one to stick my neck out for this company."

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

He had to control his tail or face the most bizarre sexual harassment suit in history.

'To put a different slant on it, I'm promoting my son here over you all because water is thinner than blood.'

"Are you sending your people over here to smoke in my doorway?"

"You're ruthless, vicious, destructive, and downright barbaric. It's so refreshing."

We are open, honest and respectful when considering the opinions of our colleagues.

"From my point of view, a team effort is a lot of people doing what I say..."

"Sorry, but by now, you should know, as well as I do, that the company policy is to promote incompetent extroverts, not quiet achievers..."

"Well, let me tell you something smarty. Don't even once forget who's the big cheese around here."