Company Car Skeptic Gifts

Clown in clown car, "Well I don't think the company car is such a perk"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'I'm willing to go that extra mile because I have a company car.'

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

"According to my calculations that shouldn't have happened."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'

Road kill - Foreign competition beating US auto domination.

"There has got to be a way for Detroit to make a safe, affordable, fuel-efficient vehicle out of hemp."

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

'Attention - we're combining our anti-viral and anti-bacterial placebo divisions immediately.'

The Ekert Saga: '...without pettiness, feah and greed, we wouldn't need lawyahs, news media or even a government...and megaconglomecorp owns and operates all of it...and, no, I don't know how you apply fah a job theah.'