Suv Skeptic Gifts

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

4x4 car surrounded by drivers who hate 4x4s - Child in car saying - "Mummy, I don't feel safe in a 4x4."

Maybe I should get a convertible.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"Is really wet, here!"

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'I still say it would be faster if we had a four-wheel drive.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

4 x 4s - buy one, get one free.

Sports futility vehicles

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

Realistic terms of agreement options. . .

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Emerging from Bankruptcy.

'It scored first in everything except the rollover tests...'

"Our safety manual is nothing but a big joke."

'Uh oh, they all have 6,000 pound cars now.'

'It's an IQ test for the driver.'

If the N.R.A. ran the D.O.T.

Family using a mobile stairway to enter their SUV