Suvs Gifts

'It seats two comfortably.'

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

Shoot, I don't wanna hurt anybody, I just wanna look like I could!

'Spending the kids' inheritance doesn't go far enough - we want to bugger up the environment for them too.'

My dad's is tiny. You wish. I heard your dad's is huge. Your dad's is big as a smokestack. My dad's is way smaller than your dad's. My dad's is infinitely small. And if you don't admit it, I'm going to tell everyone at school about your dad's SUV. Hey! Stop it! Do I even want to know what you two are arguing about? Size of carbon footprint. My dad's is a zillion times smaller. Oh brother. Your dad caused global warming.

'Uh oh, they all have 6,000 pound cars now.'

'I'm looking for something that says 'luxury'... but most of all... 'get out of the way!''

Stuck SUVs

"In spirit I'm an environmentalist. I love my SUV but I do my best to feel as guilty as possible when I drive it."

Hummer Hell

"I've tried everything, but my gas mileage is terrible."

"What would it take to get you behind the reins of this family suv?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'I still say it would be faster if we had a four-wheel drive.'

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

4 x 4s - buy one, get one free.

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

Sports futility vehicles

'Goddam Range Rovers churning up the countryside,'

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

'It's an IQ test for the driver.'

Family using a mobile stairway to enter their SUV

The development of cars.

Emerging from Bankruptcy.

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'