Suv Sceptics Gifts

'Bloody 4WDs!'

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'It seats two comfortably.'

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

'I still say it would be faster if we had a four-wheel drive.'

'This really is the road less traveled. I can't find it on my Google Map.'

"It'h thnowing. . .me no like thnow in thpring. . . "

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

Sports futility vehicles

"The GPS is extorting money off me. It won't give me directions until I put money in its account."

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'Goddam Range Rovers churning up the countryside,'

Fake Out! You are 300 miles from Dulles Airport! Hahah!

4 x 4s - buy one, get one free.

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

'For the last time, I don't need a sunroof! Think about it dude!'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Emerging from Bankruptcy.

'It's an IQ test for the driver.'

Clown in clown car, "Well I don't think the company car is such a perk"

Family using a mobile stairway to enter their SUV

"I've tried everything, but my gas mileage is terrible."

'Uh oh, they all have 6,000 pound cars now.'

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

Expensive fuel costs make driving large vehicles costly.

Hire car is overtaken and dominated by 4x4 'Higher car'.

The SUV: A T-rex on wheels.

"Believe me, with the Equalizer, here, you'll never take any crap from an S.U.V. again."