Car Philosopher Gifts

Thoughts in Traffic

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Traffic Lights Medicine

'Existential truckstop'

Custom Cruiser Magazine Reader Survey: Do you own a lowrider?"

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

Pimp my cow.

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Yeah, but building a custom lowrider can cost at least $20,00.

Hell's Ethics

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

Useful and Useless Screws

Motorists see sign: You are now approaching the world's first automated highway(Last chance for a fit of road rage for 150 miles).

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

Let Go and Let God

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

It's not the destination, but the journey that counts. Unless you're stuck in traffic. Then it's the destination.

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

'Hey, it's your dollar, buddy, but maybe this ain't the best way to 'wherever the wind blows your path.''

"With all of the long lines because of road repair, this car idles the best.

This lane reserved for average persons only.

What women believe vs. what men believe.