Community Life Observer Gifts

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"It's his emotional support animal."

St. Elmo's fired.

Down on Bourbon Street...

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

You trip on it, you buy it.

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Will Kill For Food

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

Junior's Towel

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Street: The Magazine for Homeless People

"Think you could teach your kid to throw straight?"

"Please help! God struck me blind for not giving to a blind beggar."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"We were hoping that you could work from work today."

Currently Down-Sizing

Wendel maps his trip to the germaphobe society headquarters.

'For Peter's Home and Careers class, he has to take care of this computerized doll of a 23-year-old son who won't move out of the house.'

"Hey, don't forget man's best friend!"

"You must be brave now, Randolph! You. . . You. . . You are adopted!"

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"

"Thrown under the bus stop."