Communication Satirist Pillows

'I text message so I don't have to listen.'

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

'This is the interoffice phone system they installed over the weekend?'

Hermit on island can't escape modern society.

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

"So no text? Nothing?"

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Dawing your Cellphone

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The Proust of Twitter

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

The prying mantis,

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

"Fact amnesty"

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Social media and censorship...

'for more obit info, go to...'

Inhospitality tent.

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."