Communication Cruiser Gifts

I've noticed you've stopped saying 'we.'

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Mr. Punch in Venice

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'