Commitment Theorist Gifts

"Pressure, Harold? After two and a half years of steady dating, why would I pressure you now?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Monogamy

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

Preachers with far too much input

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

First Marriage

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

Marriage Returns

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

"We're planning a very long shelf life together."

Lady who has just accepted a proposal.

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."