Commitment-phobic Couch Potato Gifts

Man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he cannot decide on a program.

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Dating Death

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

Waking the Dead.

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

RETIREMENT VOWS

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"I dropped my phone. Would you mind skiing the 20 miles back up hill to find it? I would do it, but I'm out of shape and lazy."

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."