Quarrelsome Couch Potato Gifts

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

"This is Sunday. Monday's down the hall."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"I see a couch."

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

Watchdog

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

I got a throw blanket and a throw pillow to accent my throw cat and throw husband.

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

'We added on to the couch.'

Waking the Dead.

'When you caught yourself saying the repetitive never-ending TV commercials and couldn't stop doing it, you should have come to see me then!'

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

"Hibernation's over, Liam, football's started again!"

'It's his bath night, but he also wanted to watch tv.'

'I don't think he's taking this fight seriously enough.'

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

Yeah, I'm having a lowest plane of consciousness kind of day. Chips.

'Striped cats make me appear thinner.'

'You're right, it is too nice outside to play inside. Could you help me carry the TV and PlayStation out to the deck?'

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

The dog food channel.

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

Man and TV have both fallen asleep

"Getting tired from riding the escalator up may be a good indication that you're out of shape."

'Actually, sex just isnt that important to me.'

Man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he cannot decide on a program.

'After seeing about 20,000 commercials a year, I don't think I have any sales resistance at all.'