Endearing Couch Potato Gifts

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"This is Sunday. Monday's down the hall."

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"I see a couch."

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

I love thunderstorms!

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

You're only as old as you feel!

'When you caught yourself saying the repetitive never-ending TV commercials and couldn't stop doing it, you should have come to see me then!'

'We added on to the couch.'

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"You can't possibly have winter cabin fever! Winter just officially started a couple days ago."

"When I first met him, he wanted to change the world for me. Now, I'm lucky if I can get him to change his underpants."

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'

'He's been reading it for the past 20 years!'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

'I'll never forget when we first met and goodness knows I'll keep trying!'

'I'll never forget the first time we met, and goodness knows I've tried!'

Surfing Beach.

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

"Grab me a zebra while you're up will ya, hon?"

'Striped cats make me appear thinner.'

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

"I'm sorry Hunny, I can't come in and help you right now, my subconscious is busy working."

"Ed's world line is a dot."

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

"Howard's like his old lawnmower when it comes to spring cleaning - he's hard to start, not too sharp, and backfires a lot."