Commitment-phobic Couch Potato Pillows

Man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he cannot decide on a program.

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

Dating Death

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

RETIREMENT VOWS

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

Waking the Dead.

"I dropped my phone. Would you mind skiing the 20 miles back up hill to find it? I would do it, but I'm out of shape and lazy."

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'