Lazy Couch Potato Pillows

"I dropped my phone. Would you mind skiing the 20 miles back up hill to find it? I would do it, but I'm out of shape and lazy."

"This is Sunday. Monday's down the hall."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"I see a couch."

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

I love thunderstorms!

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

Football Fan.

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

Waking the Dead.

'We added on to the couch.'

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

The News - Christmas Special

Roll Playing Game

"Hibernation's over, Liam, football's started again!"

Television repeated repeats Awards

'Striped cats make me appear thinner.'

'When we talk, I have to take a lot for grunted.'

'You're right, it is too nice outside to play inside. Could you help me carry the TV and PlayStation out to the deck?'

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

The dog food channel.

Man and TV have both fallen asleep

"Your innermost feelings are fascinating, but remember, I'm your attorney."