Cozy Couch Potato Pillows

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

I got a throw blanket and a throw pillow to accent my throw cat and throw husband.

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

'Striped cats make me appear thinner.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Love is when you watch television together.

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"You are still here."