Commitment Gurus Pillows

'Ralph asked me to marry him, Pookie, but I told him I'd have to talk to you before I could give him an answer.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

Monogamy

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"You said it—everybody heard you."

First Marriage

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

"We're planning a very long shelf life together."