Commitment Planner Pillows

"We could get married and plan together forever."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

A Reasonable Time for Concern

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Monogamy

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'We still have a few minor issues to work out: I want a huge wedding and he wants to be single.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I do enjoy seeing you, Roger, but I'm not sure if you're binge-worthy."

Woman dragging reluctant partner into Tunnel of Commitment.

"I need a man who will commit."

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"I'm always committing to things I know I can't follow through on."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I'll do whatever it takes to save this marriage. Even if that means having to work weekends."

'I need a commitment. I don't want to just hang out with you.'

'And promise to love each other through constant drama, bad judgment, poor choices and self-delusion?'