Commitment Tester Pillows

'This is a meaningful relationship, the sex means a lot to me.'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

The Female Brain and The Other One

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

A Reasonable Time for Concern

Monogamy

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Preachers with far too much input

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'We still have a few minor issues to work out: I want a huge wedding and he wants to be single.'

"I need a man who will commit."

Woman dragging reluctant partner into Tunnel of Commitment.

"I do enjoy seeing you, Roger, but I'm not sure if you're binge-worthy."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."