Commitment Dodger Gifts

A surprisingly challenging resolution. This year my resolution is to leave well enough alone.

'The groom picked the right day to chicken out!'

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Unconditional Loveseat

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

The Female Brain and The Other One

How lazy people decide what to eat

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."