Commitment Artist Gifts

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Unconditional Loveseat

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

The Female Brain and The Other One

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'