Commitment Artist Gifts

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

Unconditional Loveseat

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

The Female Brain and The Other One

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Various Traps.

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'In just six hours you will be simultaneously cured of your fear of snakes, heights, small spaces and commitment.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"You said it—everybody heard you."

What fear of commitment? Frank (heart) Lisa. W.T. Loves J.S. George + Gracie. O.H. Loves S.L. Lucy (heart) Ricky.