Commitment Commander Pillows

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Relationship Warning Lights

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"I don't think you're taking this relationship seriously..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

"I'm always committing to things I know I can't follow through on."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

Marriage & Divorce.

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

'Whoa! Really? You offer a full refund on any engagement ring for up to two years?! Very cool!'

'And promise to love each other through constant drama, bad judgment, poor choices and self-delusion?'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'He's a high stakes player - I mean he married her.'

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."