Commanding Officer Gifts

'Bad news. Intelligence has just learned that God is on the other side.'

'We're delaying the operation until we come up with a catchy name.'

Neo-International Law

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Military Medals

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Infantry.

'At ease, soldier.'

UNFADED GLORY

Moustached gentleman

Lost around a military base.

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

Defence Cutbacks.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Split Decision