Commanding Officer Pillows

'Bad news. Intelligence has just learned that God is on the other side.'

'We're delaying the operation until we come up with a catchy name.'

Neo-International Law

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Military Medals

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'At ease, soldier.'

UNFADED GLORY

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Lost around a military base.

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

Moustached gentleman

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

Defence Cutbacks.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'