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"Dismissed corporal. I outrank you."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Second lifeReal life.

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

Infantry.

Monk Prompt

Hair Traffic control.

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

'Pop-up Bible.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

Priest

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

P.O.W. !! to US credibility.

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Church Hymn